With the breeze of spring, spring came to an end, followed by the immense heat。Shenzhen've only difference between summer and winter weather。I was at home eating is not the image of her husband to do the noodles。I remember telling my sister said to go to church。  Inside the church, I always like to sit in the most obscure corner。Former nun has been playing the Qin, this guy has changed the。No way, I have not been to church for six months。My sister jokingly said:“Do you want to set you up match?”  I immediately that attitude, stand firm, he said:“I was determined not want to marry Cantonese。”The reason expressed abhorrence, because I grew up thinking seriously poisoned patriarchal family。  Day was smooth, as always。But extreme love Bible study。With the understanding of the Bible, go to church began to become diligent together。  Every time I go church, always see him。Every time sitting in the back position, you can see his handsome back。Nothing special feeling that pleasant。  Whenever finished Mass, he was always a man playing the piano, I hear in the back, there is no communication, although occasionally there are a few people around him to learn Qin, it seems that this is a formidable challenge urgent, no one adhere to。  In particular, like his hands, like a magician's hands, but his props is always only the piano, but how tired of hearing they do not。I wonder if I could like him in the Qin key and keyboarding same leisurely。  Finally one day, I have the courage to come to Qin side said to him:“I can talk to you after you learn Qin?”We just met。  I always remember the day I still sloppy childish cartoon wearing a red dress, when we came out from the church, he returned to his home, I returned to my home。Clouds on the sky began to become lovely up。I also know his name: small Xing。  After contact with know that he is not as shy as I expected, but also articulate。He is not only an amateur musician or an amateur photographer。  Good too, I regret all flat body into full play on him。I said that if he had the love of literature, that really the perfect。  During that study of the Bible days, almost sleepless nights, suddenly sprouted out of the idea want to monasticism。To this end I tortured。I do not know go on like this is not is in line with the meaning of Jesus'。Day so a little bit of the past, so a little bit of thought but also the storage。  At that time the study of the Bible has been some success, but still no way to learn to share with others, but we always have a lot of strange questions, never consider asking others are not brought trouble to others。Of course, a question of objects or small-hing。  He strongly encouraged me to explain to them, because of his encouragement, I also did。Later, because of the way each time just finished sharing, he used his little sheep take me home。No one promising such a well-intentioned move, what is wrong thinking。  Until one night, he had a friend also, because it was night, his friend needs to go to the station coachman, we seem to have become accustomed to the last one left。Of course, I have half of the reason is that in practice Qin。I had finished I would also like to talk and little sister。  He told me he wanted to send his friend to the car, then I come back。  Originally obviously can not so much trouble, because he is a warm-hearted。Although people feel very sorry this trouble, but still accept the peace of mind。  When he came back to see little sister also, we did not say anything, and he was anxious to explain our small aunt just the way it。  That episode, even now, I still still laugh out。  I'm still thinking of suffering as a religious thing。One night, I said to Jesus:“Jesus, if someone is looking for me to chat on QQ, and was a man tonight, I will not go。”  This is for others, it may take exception。But for a stealth two years, but few people know that in the case of their own under the circumstances of this case is simply negligible。  But that's happened, and it objects or small-hing。I forgot what day we say in Argentina!  Things just come without change of the sound, until the smell out when everything seems to have recovered less than the original look。  I know he has a child, he liked people, and I also very self-knowledge of the X label on our bodies。Because, like you can, love can not marry。  That to me too far away, but marriage is a sacred covenant。  You, as Wu Yan Qilu general do not have the charm。  Another example is the Oracle-like, fascinating。  Slender hands, as if to make the world's most beautiful melody played。  That fragile body, straight chase with traces of dreams。  What's your belief is it labors?  A!  I am eager to fill with words like blocking my brain in general, you use your love fill your life。  You are: a city, a street, a plant, a cloud, a touch of sunset, landscape, still write memoirs, nor will he show off with former。  Everything looked so beautiful。  I also smiled。  Those good, after all, where will see a better hiding laughing。  I very unlikely, caught in looking back that ranks in。  Those destined somewhere difference is that I have to write a life of Acura。  I used this space in his message across, but only a small fraction。  I read the article written by a senior sister apprentice, about the content of what she like a person, has been keeping everything, until one day her courage to tell the truth, the man was no longer the boy's mother agreed that she went to his room to visit。I realized that he liked her。  Such stories I see a lot of tears every time。It was Tuesday morning, the evening was my second effort, the effect is pretty good。Everything seems to be well underway with, but great aunt tells us decided to cancel the gathering Tuesday of each week, two weeks into a。The reason for October's singing contest。I can not accept。  Home, still only a small Xing know I'm feeling right。And then we chatted some other。I suddenly remembered that morning to see the article。If I have to die the next second, I will not regret this has become。So I told him my feelings。His expression is very vague, not resolute refusal, also said there is no special feeling。  That for me, is the best answer。  Not remember where seen, he said:“Finally, nothing will go with the flow of feelings。”  I do not really care about these things, after all, no love, you can also have a lot of things。And I have always felt sorry human mind will bring the best memoirs。And small Hing given me inspiration is limitless。But I slowly but increasingly unable to speak properly and he。Because it is embarrassing。If I know the consequences would be regrettable to fill this。I'd rather die before the second do not tell him about the outpouring of the heart。  But this tepid, we are beginning to deliberately avoided。It is such a state, so that my heart can not calm in。Because of their expression it seems only to bring this series of embarrassing。Even dinner was also expressed gratitude to the coveted crown to name。  A!God knows my whole transition from contradiction to monasticism as far as the consequences brought this matter。The more you want the more calm choppy。Although we can see once or twice a week。I'm not him I did not know his thoughts。I just know that they want to escape from the earth's idea more strongly。  Why are not puppy love girl things but also to develop it so?I had already difficult enough to go on like this, and also that they have a Touch of Zen-like mind to face everything。In preparation injured check all the time, I knew I needed a clear rejection, so I just thought I could heroic martyrdom。  Even say when, very firmly told him not to worry I'll be hurt, they will soon come back can be adjusted。Of course, hindsight I especially want two pumping his mouth son。Doing nothing loaded so good。  When to get a clear answer, I even feel relieved pleasure。But I did not think, he told me later canceled a fixed time to learn Qin。  Although, I know he always thought I learned Qin is not a purpose, even if it is still not explained to eliminate this misunderstanding。Even when I'm in October to begin classes no time to learn, it seems do not want these words from him, which is perhaps once a person has different feelings, eager to perfect it!When a person can do to bear the weight, plus a little bit in it will collapse。  Then many, many began to emerge。  For example, on Thursday rarely see him in church, I once said that if he church tonight, I am willing to believe that he is God sent an angel to me。And he appeared in the church that night, I feel very magical。  For example, he does not usually take the initiative and talk to me, I said as long as he took the initiative and I would like to speak today, I believe that he is God sent an angel to me。  For example, in his Saturday and Sunday in church bomb Qin, I said that if he is not in church Sunday, I was sure he was God sent an angel to me。  Everything is like a funny show。Clown has always played himself in。I do not know whether it was rejected or misunderstood sad sad。  Although I told myself, if the performance is so obvious let others sad。Ye Hao even put on a happy point A!  From excitement to loss, grief from the loss to。Then there has been not say I'm sorry and thank you。I do not like this situation is。Time will dilute all right。  In this way the youth, he is the best scenery I encounter。So I decided to take in her heart。In the next meeting, I believe I will adjust their。  But when faced him, I still think that sad tale ending to the United States。  Forget him, forget about what you do not, people forget some things, can not forget after you lose something owned, forget hatred, humiliation forget。  Like rhino forget grasslands, lakes and waterfowl forget, forget heaven to hell, forget the wind leaves。  However, I decided not forget you。  Small Xing, and finally tell you, I still feel that I am not fit to go to the monastic。But I'll take it to my memories, to go very far place。  There should be a right decision, I always thought until I tell you before graduation decided to leave Shenzhen for your feeling, then months, the degree of sadness have been beyond my imagination, I do not know that time I would be more serious than it is now。So, do not flood more than sympathy, and I was afraid I was wrong when feelings。And, I can not seem courage to say the third time like you。  Who likes the fact that, fails to account for me, like the pulse of the wrist and continued beating, weak but clear。